Hostility

It's more than hostility really
A limited lexicon could not venture to define it
the entire dictionary would come up short too
it's that brain swelling feeling
fighting back your reflexes
control. control. control.
you shouldn't feel this way
a sea of respect couldn't help you now
those days have long passed
all efforts to define the relationship are futile
futile.
they are futile. they are a cretin.
you just thought of this word today
it is your new favorite marker
they are a cretin
the perfect all encompassing monicker
now the guilt floods in
you shouldn't feel this way
this relationship demands respect
you are forever indebted
you will never separate yourself from them
but.
but how many bad qualities can a person take?
how much stagnation?
lack of drive?
but you have a lack of drive
the connection is deeper than you will ever understand
you don't want to understand
you will separate yourself from the truth
you will separate yourself from all of them